where the wind blows, the root is standing still

ice man…

silir2angin — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 05:06:15 +0000

Maybe it’s because of daily routine of sitting by the way to wait for the bus that makes me aware of many kinds of struggling people in earning money. Me, of course includes in one of a kind. The only thing that concerns me a lot is the peddler who sells chicken porridge. It’s been a long time that I wish to buy it as a breakfast, but it crystallizes until now. I can not lie myself that my mouth starts to water whenever the peddlers pass me through. Stop talking about the chicken porridge, my stomach has started a choir.

It’s been a habit that I sit in front a closed store while waiting for the bus. In contrary, a great show is presented. Beside the peddler of chicken porridge, there are the peddler of siomay, batagor, kue rangi, pecel, and so on. One of them is a woman. A portrait of survival from a cruel situation made by a “rotten rats” who pledges to work on behalf of people. Another show also nicely perform by an ice man. Actually, I don’t know how to describe his job. Every morning around 6 AM, he will appears with his conveyance to bring some blocks of ice.

Initially, I do not consider his job as important as a manager. But, many food stalls and small stores rely on his distinction. He drops all the ice to customers without any great expectations of salary. Those customers might not be able to provide a refrigerator or even a freezer to keep all the drinking-to-be-sold cold. They only have icebox to store all the drinking.I don’t think that it’s a mutual relationship which generates millions of money, but the sincerity is truly shown here.

lost by questions

silir2angin — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 09:13:47 +0000

The smart will ask until the details, while the fool will keep questioning why it is so hard to ask.

Once, I heard a youngster ask their mother/father why the sugar is sweet and the salt is salty. The adults maybe shocked for this (unreasonable) silly question. We will not consider it is a silly question if we are taking so much errrrr… or ehhmm… before answering. If the adults categorized as a “fool”, they might say that it has been destined to. Some other time my friend told me a story about her niece about the sunny-side up for breakfast. This little girl asked why the eyes of the sunny-side up are just one. Who is to be blame?

In another times, I amazed with a group of a college student about the meticulous subject. One of them appears to the best on that subject. The rest are craved for simplest explanation in understanding the subject. The discussion starts with the frown of the masters in finding the simplest words to be illuminated and ends with the double frowns on the followers. The master can easily explain from A to Z, but the followers are lost in space about their questions. No wonder that some say that the best always cursed him/herself of not being able to do more after a hard battle, while the average always satisfy with the sufficient boundary with an ordinary preparations.

In a rare time while I was flying to Taipei after a transit in Hongkong, I met a Japanese guy and had a long conversation along the way. In the part of talking about the family, he told me about his two sisters who had got married and had children as well. He was the eldest in the family and felt no burden in telling me that he had not married yet. Then, I spontaneously ask him why he had not got married yet. After this question, it had been so hard for him to answer the question or at least find some reasons to avoid it. I also strengthened using a little Japanese Doushite… It took a few minutes for him to find an answer, and finally he did not answer it and kept on showing a panic face of not being able answer it in any single word. I ended up his misery with “Forget about that”. I never knew that for some persons, a very ordinary question can be so hard to answer. It might not be his priority to get married in the age “still” 30 or maybe a marriage would not be in his life dictionary. Only God knows.

(fake) mother…

silir2angin — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 07:58:03 +0000

Mother is physically a woman who blessed with high sensitivity and tenderness. But lately I have found a different alliteration phenomenon to describe a mother. Physically she will not always be a woman and the woman herself will not always be categorized as a mother. Maybe you will always believe that your mother is your birth mother that will always be the real mother until unlimited time. But, as I said before, the impression of mother itself has deviated into somebody else or even something else.

Globalization, social interaction, or physical need of a figure about parenting may donate this kind of deviation. Some will declare that my father is also my mother because of a sudden death or an unnecessary divorce in a nuclear family. I believe we will not be surprised of this pronouncement. Yet, some other family member such as step mother, grandfather (grandmother), sisters (brothers), or someone else who still has kinship with him/her are able to be a (fake) mother.

Kinship is not always working to be one’s figure of a mother. Some will explore much more to find the most eligible character to be a (fake) mother. Some needs a character which will potentially satisfy their needs of certain acknowledgment and affection with no strings attached. He/she will just accept the happiness of some affections transfer from those characters temporarily. A teacher, foster parents, close-friend (boyfriend and girlfriend might be counted), or superior (inferior) will be some of the characters.

But some prominent figures might be shocking for some of us to be associated with a mother. Less people take a homeless drifter, a gangster, or even a brothel keeper as a (fake) mother. Of course with a huge distortion of the meaning and motivation, those figures can be reflected almost the same as mother. Ironic. For the sake of the basic needs of being protected, avowal, or even economical satisfaction is much powerful to define a prominent and lovable figure.

Conversely, in a dazing search of mother-figure, some experience a most startling emotion with a woman-shaped-mother. A mother turns into an evil, viper, and even a death angel. What a life! So, whatever the definition, shape, physical performance of a mother is on you. The mother-character mostly needed in a real performance so that you can feel the warmth of affection and serenity. But, the essence of a mother must be represented in God for sure. When, we still have the mother-character tangibly, please show your best appreciation of having her. But, when you lose it, convince yourself that the essence is still spreading in your life through the mercy of God.

If you are a woman, be happy of being it. Then if you are a mother-will-be, a journey of blessing time is on you. But if you are a (fake) mother, a salute is compatible for you.

cry me a river

silir2angin — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 07:25:19 +0000

This kind of ritual is freakish for me. I will never do it if it isn’t inside the bathroom or in the middle or hard rain. Well, I just don’t want to look silly, goofy, and overly sentimental by doing this ritual. But, still there were times when I could not stop my eyes of dripping the tears. These three persons were lucky to see me crying like a fool. My mom was not included, because she caught me crying by surprise from the day I breathed the first air in this world.

Call her Risma. We have been together for years. Maybe she suspected me as a realistic person with no heart and insensitive, not like her unconditionally. There were no compatibility between us, but we had shared some stories. So, the day was one day before I went to Taiwan. She insisted to come to see me that night before I went away just for a book of diary. She requested me to write everything happened in my life during my staying in Taiwan. Bad or good. No matter how silly it was, just wrote it. Then she will asked back the story on the day I go back Indonesia. Besides, she also passed me a short story that she required me to read it after I had been in Taiwan. Those were all. I remembered that I hugged her tautly. Then, you can guess what happen to me in time. A plot of tears in my cheeks.

Name her Ririn. The destiny of the twins starts here. We were twins by name, not birth. Of course, she is a year older than me, so we could not be considered as the real twin. But from the day we decided to bind the friendship, everyone got lousy of differing us. If we were not together, the people started complaining of us being separated. What a drama queen! She delivered me to the airport when I flew to Taiwan. She even got a permission just to send me off and brought me a nice gift. She had supported me in everything while I got the scholarship until the day I finish it. That is why I could not stop my tears in the airport when I passed the check in board. I am still thinking of her kindness until now.

Mention her as Bunga. How should I describe her? We matched by needs firstly. Sounds rude, but it was the fact. I will reveal that she was one of the wonderful persons that I met in a short time of facing each other. I believed that we met in prayers. Alhamdulillah, that the internet connection in Taiwan is fabulous. So the thirst of telling everything (important or not) could be bridged by technology. She declared that she had autism in nature, but unfortunately I did not feel it everytime I was in touch with her. She always provides me (until now) with some kind of attentions that I can’t explain the effect inside of me. She frequently boosts me to the limit that I am not sure that I can pass it. Kaohsiung Masjid must be the witness of my foolish-unplanned ritual. At that time, I was in a complete conviction of her status in her study. But, she kept on rumbling to me to stand up tall in facing my thesis which is in the middle of despair. Frankly speaking, she was just starting her thesis because of a sudden change of the topic which is in a worse condition than me. The more she rumbling “You must stand up tall, Pan!”, the more I tears came out. How could she do it to me in the middle of her uncertainties! Next, I felt like committing to errors by leaving her extended her study, after I finished my study in Taiwan and got back to Indonesia. Still, I only have a prayer for her.

prime number…

silir2angin — Sun, 12 Dec 2010 11:31:08 +0000

Should I remember you about what prime number is? If you don’t know what prime number is, please search in Wikipedia or the-most-powerful-search-engine-ever “Google”. The limit of the prime number must be indefinite. Here I have an anxiety of some of the smallest number of prime number.

ONE represents God. Invincible and Unassailable. He doesn’t need number two or three. Friends or surroundings are not necessary. The ONE doesn’t need the creatures, but the creatures need the ONE. It is the center of the attractiveness of the ONE. Let’s conclude ONE as an absolute representation of prime number.

TWO describes the soulmate. I think you and your soulmate are another powerful description of prime number of TWO. The definition of this can be inseparable or indivisible. But, who can avoid the power of losing. The separation still has an outcome of another prime number which is one. See, the power of ONE is extremely absolute.

THREE illustrates the friendship. Don’t you think that your friend can be your soulmate? Of course, you can ascertain as it. But, do you really only have one friend in your life? Then, had you seen the people who got married for two or three? The cast may consider each person in his/her life as his/her soulmate, but I bet he/she has no strong senses of being robbed. Frankly speaking, your heart has been shoplifted for a lifetime. That’s why it is really difficult for some people to define the friendship with no heart. If it is as easy as turning a friend into a lover or vice versa, I believe that you may be considered as a player.

No great suspicion that can make you frown your eyebrow right? I just have a fancy of saying ONE, TWO, THREE instead of counting from 100 to indefinite

you need a…

silir2angin — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 07:49:02 +0000

You need a PARTNER

Partner has no commitment on relationship, simply said as function of mood. You can easily dump him/her as your individualistic master you in time. No strain.

You need a COUPLE

Couple have no strong judgment on gender. Homo or hetero.

You need a SPOUSE

Spouse defines him/herself as a loyal clan of a tie. A vow and declaration must be manifested in terms of reference.

You need a SOULMATE

Soulmate believes in love before he/she was born. He/she sometimes not realistic, but cushy to believe in destiny. No rush.

I mention about You. Then what about ME. I doubtless need all. A great combination. So the satisfaction will be the function of time, mood, belief and peaceful.

paradox

silir2angin — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 10:38:11 +0000

Paradox #1

In a great limitations of words, I insist to make a blog. Infallible failure!! *laugh to myself*

Paradox #2

Blackberry. What a fantastic phenomenon right now. But I think, it’s just one of devices which distracts consumptive people like Indonesian citizens. The label of poverty has been attached to Indonesia, but the consumption of new products is baffling. *keep my first wrinkle on my forehead*

Paradox #3

Forgiveness in words. Sorry means fine. What an obnoxious deed of girls! After a deep-and-exasperating behavior of Adam clan, the Eve clan easily falls again in the same story of love. *please don’t do the remix of the same love song*

prone to illness

silir2angin — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 08:30:10 +0000

What are the worst disease that you are suffer of lately?? Migraine, insomnia, indigestion, or others related to your stress management. Some of them might be part of mine, but I am interested in other kind of diseases which are prone to illnesses.

I may say that something precious is supposed to be mine, no one can touch it or even see it. How precious is it? Of course it must be my preference. No rights for others to contribute to my requirement. I will call it POSSESSIVE

Next is SILENT. I love this to death. Neither explanation nor clarification can heal me from this illness. As I said, I love this to death, so this is invincible for you to break.

I must be thankful to Alloh SWT for my NO-EXPRESSION-FACE attached in my body. It protects me from the “enemy” who has many faces for different situation. Exceedingly, I’m not an actress who can swiftly change my heart’s situation in a second. So, to be HEARTLESS sounds tantalizing.

Hopefully this paragraph will be the last. Being SEPARATED from this crunchy world is unbelievable to be forsaken. But for me, it is definitely easy. I just need to tune the environment into my frequency, then click it’s on me in a second. That’s why I’m not afraid to be IGNORED by them, as long as it is not Alloh SWT.

in between

silir2angin — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 15:51:57 +0000

*** big and small ***

Ant will always be as small as we predict until it stings our hands so acute and sore. Beside, elephant will always be as big as we categorize until it brings us on its back. The SMALL cause the BIG so pathetic and painful, in contrary the BIG can be treated as the cute and lovely SMALL.

*** tears and smile ***

Never had an intention to cry, but the tears suddenly burst without any commands and scenario. Next, we laugh out loud, still a-clear-soft-warm water falls from the eyes. What’s so good about this kind of clear water? No need special occasion to make it flow like a river from your beautiful eyes.

*** burden and loosen ***

I am busy for breathing. Have you ever stated that? Almost never. It must be a burden for your nose, lung, heart, and some other organs inside your body to fulfill this immediately-important job.

I feel loose when I die. Do you think that we do not need some efforts to die? Almost impossible. Trust me, it is incredibly a hard working that we need to consider.

*** wealthy and poor ***

Calculate your daily needs. I bet there will be much money left for saving, moreover for helping the others daily needs. Life is about how to survive comfortably not revive victory.

I recap that we will constantly spend the whole life in RELATIVITY

Since Allah does not make limitation of your heart and mind, so just MAKE USE FREELY

The boundary is on you, simply defined as THANKFUL

what’s left from BRC…?

silir2angin — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 19:03:07 +0000

“Hi…” followed by the smile from Edge and Chen. Their hands were holding two typically City Cafe cups. What a good preparation before starting the presentation I guessed

“This is for you” as they put a cup of coffee (my first thought) in my desk

“What… you don’t need to. I don’t drink coffee. Just take it for you” I rejected their good intention

What they did next was putting the two cups and ask me to choose which one that I liked most “You choose one..”

I’m wondering why were they forcing me to take that. So, in order to be respectful to them I just take one cup and said thank you to them.

What a wonderful experience for me to work together with some Taiwanese friends. I will say that they are very smart. You can not compare me with them. So many differences for sure. Ahaaaa….I forget to tell you that I’m the only girl in this class (and in some other classes that I’ve taken for about this 3 semester). Do I need to tell you what is BRC? Then, for avoiding the wondering, BRC is Behavior of Reinforced Concrete. Is it interesting for you? I bet you will say NO.

For short, we are compulsory to do the project in team. I am the only international student in my team member. The rest four persons are Taiwanese. It’s been come into my mind from the very first time that communication and discussion would be the hardest part of doing this project. Yes, definitely, and for sure it happened. I had no doubt on their knowledge about this course. May be I was the only one who had no sense about this course in my team (and may be in the class). They were talking here and there about the project using Chinese. As my understanding about Chinese was (still) not so good, so I can just catch a very little (almost nothing I guess haghaghag…). But they tried hard to explain back to me in English or other probable way to make me understand what they have talked about. Delivering my ideas was also a big problem. I practiced a little bit Chinese to make them understand and of course I provided myself with the website to help me translate into Chinese.

Do you think that I were desperate during the time we finished the project? I will confess that I was truly having a great time with them. I can’t count how many times I laugh on the way we finish the project. Maybe they were desperate in order to make me understand and also pronounce the English word. In the middle of desperation, what else can make us stay up to do the project. LAUGH… –Of course that was I’m best of–

Another funny thing was when we practice to do the presentation. After finding empty classroom and move out in the middle of practicing since the classroom will be used, at least we have a willingness to prepare it as good as we can. Do you know how much we did the practice? Three times. What a wonderful numbers right. But I was truly impressed with their efforts to present it using good English. They always asked me how to pronounce it well. Until they said that I’m a good English teacher. Hey…you remind me of teaching English for my elementary school student in Indonesia. Then the next session was their time to teach me Chinese. What a mutual act.

I will highlight this funny incident. In the middle of practicing, Huang was asking on how to say my name since he would be the first presenter and so introduce our team member. Unfortunately my name is typically difficult name to said in their accustomed-Chinese-tongue. I just said that he only need to say my first name. But he insisted to say my full name. So, here we went to a funny show. It is ended with four of them practicing on how to say my name correctly for some minutes. I felt like screaming “Hey…stop repeating my name over and over again”. But still, I just ended up with laughing (again)

Finally I will introduce the four of them. Yen-Yu Huang, Edge Lai (he just said so, without giving me his Chinese name), Ming-Chung Chen and Jing-Wen Jung. All of them are working so hard, they even missed the lunch and dinner. And just don’t care about me who is in the middle of starving. I can conclude that we are doing good even though our project has not much analysis inside. But, I like all of your ideas to make us doing some parametric study in this project. Good Luck for all of you. For the last, I will say thanks that you are forcing me to take one of the City Cafe cups. It has a good taste, since I came to know that it is a chocolate